Time traveling

 Time traveling is one of the superpowers of being human. 

    This is not science fiction. It's fact. We do it all the time! 

    When you recall something wonderful, or something traumatic, so vividly that you even feel the same emotions you had at that time... When you worry about what might happen tomorrow, or some other time, at some future event, or if something bad might occur, or when you imagine how great it will be when say, you and your fiancee are finally married, or you finish a school project you are excited about... You are, essentially, as far as your brain knows, time traveling.

    The human brain does not differentiate between something that is happening right now in the present moment and something you are remembering that happened in the past, or envisioning happening in the future. The emotional triggering in your brain of such things will initiate the same neurobiological reactions as if these were happening in the present moment, preparing your body for battle, or relaxing it for pleasure. This can even happen when you are just watching an emotion-evoking drama (or comedy) on a screen.

    For example,  if you had a bad car accident, or a bad argument with someone, and you find your thoughts going back to that incident, ruminating on what happened, playing it over and over in your mind, your body will have the same neurophysiological responses. Your heart rate speeds up, your breathing become shallow. Your attention narrows so that you are focused just on that memory, unable to think about other things. Your stomach may clench up along with your muscles, and you may get colder, as blood retreats from your hands and feet to fuel larger muscles (part of the mind-body fight or flight reaction), or a dry mouth. Emotionally you will feel those same emotions--fear, anger, frustration, regret or sadness. Even though you are not really, right now, driving, not having a car accident, or not with the person you had that argument with.

    Robert Sapolsky used a humorous example to illustrate what our minds do in his book, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. Imagine zebras roaming around on the plains of Africa, and a lion comes and attacks. The zebras all run to get away, but the lion takes one down. If zebras were like people, they might regroup at the waterhole and talk about what just happened--how horrible it was, how awful that Zebra Zed got his throat ripped out, and gosh, what if the lion comes back? Who will get eaten next? And on and on, day after day... 

   Of course, they don't do that. They are animals, not people! Once the lion has claimed its victim, the zebras, after running off, begin to calm back down. The threat has passed, so their brain sends signals to shut down all that excitement and physiological changes that the threat caused. They can stop running, they can go back to eating, even procreating if that is on the agenda. Life goes on,

    Only people would keep revisiting the horror of the attack over and over, worrying about what they could have done to help Zed, or about when the next one might happen... That's why, in a nutshell, it's not wild zebras that get the stress illnesses we humans do in such great numbers! Cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, anxiety issues, COPD, et cetera.

    When people remember or imagine bad things happening, even though such things are not actually happening at that time, we have the same neurophysiological responses as if they were, even as if the bad thing were really life threatening (which they rarely are). What if...? Or, What will I do if...?

 What if I lose my job? 

What if I am late and the boss notices? 

What if I don't know what I am doing and make a huge mistake? 

What if my wife doesn't love me anymore? 

What if that person is mad at me? 

What if I get nervous and make a fool of myself?

   What if..., which people can do because we have a larger, more complex and highly developed brain than other animals, is one of the sources of great human suffering!

    On the other hand, What if... is also a source of tremendous invention, creativity, imagination, problem-solving, compassion, unity and healing, to name a few things. 

    Reflecting on past mistakes or tragedies can also be instructive and helpful, when done in a certain way, that is, with our powers of analysis and problem solving, our ability to imagine cause and effects, with compassion toward self and others, with our curiosity and adventurous spirit to try something new or different. Harnessing such powers, people have come up with some great ideas, like vaccines and cures for illnesses, designs for new technologies, or really cool story lines for their next book.

    While we can't physically travel back in time and change what happened, we can learn from it so that we can avoid making the same kind of mistake in the future, or learn something about ourselves that we need to work on, if we approach it with, again, curiosity and other positive emotions like determination, or excitement, which allow us to engaged that human-unique brain's powers of pattern-finding, ingenuity, and creativity.

 Here's a challenge: for the next day or so, try to notice when your thoughts are taking you into the past or into the future. Trust me, it happens a lot. Unless you have a regular meditation routine or other activity that keeps you in the present moment, your mind will be wandering, traveling in time, back and forth. No need to criticize yourself for doing it! Just notice. 

    Then as you get better at noticing this time traveling, whenever you do so, also make note of whether you are thinking about positive or negative things. If you find these are mostly negative, you are not alone. Many, if not most, people lean this way. And if you are one of them, you can increase your wellbeing, health, and overall enjoyment of life if you work on learning methods for decreasing stress and increasing positivity in your life.

If you find your thoughts are going mostly to positive things, on the other hand, take a moment to pat yourself on the back and bask in the knowledge that you are living well, and you are preparing your body and mind for healthy, resilient responses to whatever comes your way.

If you want help managing stress, anxiety, or getting over past traumas, losses, or phobias, I offer mind-body instruction in stress management and resilience for individuals and groups, and soon, Havening treatment. Contact me at managemystress@gmail.com. 

Loving-kindness Meditation--for this time of uncertainty, loss, and unprecedented change

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you be safe

May your mind be at ease

 

This is a meditation called metta, a Pali word translated as loving-kindness. It is often incorporated with mindfulness meditation, a practice that is increasingly well-known and used, among other things, as a stress management tool. (More on that another time.)

 

Today I offer loving-kindness meditation for your self-care & well-being toolkit to use in this time of Covid19—and whatever else may be going on for you, those you care about, and those in your community.

 

You can do this valuable, fairly simple meditation anywhere, for a few minutes, or for longer. It is meant to help people struggling with difficult emotions, help us overcome feelings of self-doubt or negativity, change habitual negative thought patterns, and bring positive changes in attitude as we develop loving acceptance. Give it a try, whether you mediate, do mindfulness practice or not!

 

You can tweak the precise wording of the above phrases for a later meditation. For now, say these a few times in your head now to help you remember them. Change the pronouns to I/my and repeat, as you will do this in your meditation process as well. Better yet, write these phrases down on a piece of paper. If you forget while meditating, just look at the list. No points lost for opening your eyes, promise. 

Next, select 4 people to direct the metta phrases toward, according to the instructions below. List these names as well, putting yourself first. Having the names chosen and listed in advance will help you stay focused.

 

These are the suggested categories in a typical loving-kindness meditation:

 

1.     Yourself

     Cultivating loving acceptance toward yourself is the jumping off point. You may experience resistance initially, such as feeling unworthy, undeserving. If so, simply return your attention to the repetition in progress. This is not a practice where you denigrate yourself in order to uphold the happiness of others. All people want to be happy. This includes you, me, and everyone else. Directing metta toward yourself is the basis for cultivating your ability to genuinely love others.

 

2.     Someone you respect a lot. Alive, please.

 

3.     A friend or dearly loved person. If you wish to have a few here, I think that’s just fine. However, for your first time, see if you can just pick one, so as to ensure an experience where each ‘receives metta’ in equal amounts.

 

4.     A neutral person--someone you don’t dislike or like, who you see around, but have no strong feelings about one way or the other. 

 

5.     Someone you are having difficulty with. (Just one person…)

 

Again, some can struggle with #1 above initially. When you focus on yourself, you may feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, even selfish. You may be more skilled at thinking about yourself in terms of past mistakes, regrets, bad things we did to others or that happened to us. Habituated negativity, wherever it is directed, is not healthy for mind, body or spirit. 

 

Ever heard this one?

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and hoping 

the other person will die.

 

Metta can be a tool to help you manage such negative feelings. (Note: We all get them. You Are Not Alone.) Loving-kindness meditation isn’t designed to increase selfishness or conceit; rather, it is a commitment to your own happiness and self-respect. It can have far-reaching effects, from turning off that pesky mind-body stress response to improving your physical health and the way you engage with others.

 

Often people find #2 and #3 above easiest. Your struggle may even be with whittling down to just one! Remember that YOU are the person benefitting directly from this meditation, so it’s not as if someone you don’t pick will miss out. For now, don’t worry the matter to death. Just pick one.

 

And #4 can seem challenging at first, especially now, when maybe you aren’t seeing many people, especially ones you don’t know. What about the person who checks you out most at the grocery, or who delivers your mail? Or the guy that walks by your house every day, getting his exercise? Relax. Pick one.

 

For #5, choose someone you’ve had conflict with, evokes in you fear, anger, or a resistance to forgive. Maybe don’t start with a person you are having the biggest interpersonal conflict with this first time. (If you are a trauma survivor, for right now pick someone less triggering than your current/past abuser.) Again, just pick one!

 

OK. You have your metta phrases. And you have your name list. 

 

Next, to set your first meditation, decide how many repetitions of the 4 phrases to do for each person. For instance, "I will repeat the 4 phrases 2 times for myself, and 2 times for each person on the list." If you have enough time, you can also go back to the top (yourself), and repeat the process once through, or more!

 

Eyes blink, birds sing, minds wander. That is the nature of minds, especially stressed or negative ones. Getting all these decisions out of the way before starting means less need / temptation to let your thinking mind (aka monkey mind) take over, fumbling around to remember people, evaluate them, choose who will be in slots 2-5, and then inevitably drift off into the jungle of who knows what sort of thinking, thereby interrupting your meditation.

 

As with mindfulness meditation, just notice when your mind wanders, without judging, and bring your attention back to this mantra-like repetition. If you forget where you left off, start over from the last person you remember you had in mind, or go back to the beginning, yourself, and start all over. Do this every time your mind wanders. 

No points off for starting over.

 

There will not be a test.

 

Ready to meditate?

Get into a comfortable position with your lists handy, in case you need reminders.

 

Take a few deep in-breaths, letting each out slowly, letting your body relax a bit more each time. Allow your breathing to  

s l o w   d o w n  

to a peaceful pace. Close your eyes if that is comfortable; otherwise, lower your gaze and let your eyes soften their focus.

 

Say to yourself, silently, one phrase per breath:

 

May I be happy

(breathe)

May I be healthy

(breath)

May I be safe

(breathe)

 

May my mind be at ease

 

(breathe)

 

Move on to the next person on your list. If you find it helpful, you can hold an image of that person in your mind, but this is not necessary. Change the pronouns of the 4 phrases above (from I to You, My to Your) and repeat the process, one phrase per breath.

 

After doing this for the last person on your list, repeat the process, if time.

 

And that is it!

 

By the way, the above 4 phrases are not set in stone. Google’ “metta phrases” for variations. Some substitute for the last one, “May you have peace,” or “May you live in peace” for instance. Choose/tweak for what rings best for you. Just keep it consistent through any given meditation to help you stay focused/return to focus. 

 

May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe. May your mind be at ease….

A special gratitude to Dr. Gillian Galen of McLean Hospital, who presented a wonderful 3-part series, Meditation and Mindfulness for interested staff about 5 years ago, when I still worked there. I’ve drawn extensively from her presentations in this post.

Corona is Circling, But Sky's Not Falling

What you think, you become;
What you feel, you attract;
What you imagine, you create.

                                                Buddha, Dhammapada

These are troubling times. A virus pandemic is circling the globe; the news is heightening anxiety, drawing our attention with announcements of how many more people have it today, how many more have died. 

Dang, even the President just said he's probably going to get tested. 

The markets have crashed, and there is a price war on oil between Saudis and Russians. If you went to a store yesterday, you know...  I've heard from 4 people today that they can't find toilet paper in the stores! 

What form is the crisis going to take next!

BUT. The sky IS not falling.

Because of my training in mind-body medicine, now and then I try to ease the pervasive tension on FB, in texts to freaked out relatives or friends. Throw in a cat joke from Alexa. Encourage people to B-R-E-A-T-H.  Offer someone a roll of TP.

Then I get chided for thinking the situation isn't serious.

It's serious. Duh.

But you know what else is serious? The dangers of stress. 

Long term, short term, when our bodies go into a stress response, we change.  Our perceptions of things change too.

Whenever we feel threatened, in danger, we go there--in 1/50000th of a second. 

And we're there, people. 

Not like we can just NOT do it. It's ancient survival wiring. 

Problem is, when this part of brains evolved, long ago, the animals with it (lizards, say) had one main stressor: survival. Survival in the face of predators or enemies. 

So the changes this response triggers are aimed to allow animals, and us, to quickly recognize life-threatening danger and remind us how to deal with it: to survive a fight, or run away fast. 

We can't fix this situation by running, or beating it up. Or even shooting.

This neurophysiological system hasn't changed.  
We have the same mind-body experience being stuck in traffic when we are in a hurry as our ancestors did when they faced a saber-toothed tiger.

When we become stressed, afraid, angry, our body still does the same thing it did in prehistoric days. We turn our brains over to the tiny lizard-brain (amygdala). 

This cuts off control by our highly advanced and human, and much larger, brain part, the PFC (prefrontal cortex, if you must know). 

Our attention is focused on the threat, and this tells our brain to look for more of the same. 

So we recognize potential threats, but not much else. 
We don't see the good, the positive, and we get frankly, a bit irrational.

The brain led by the amygdala makes us really a different person:

• We are less able to control our thoughts and actions, our words and feelings. 
• We lose access to creativity, skilled problem solving, and positive emotions. 
• We start to hoard bottled water, or milk and bread, because that is what we have done in past threats. (OK, maybe those were blizzards or earthquakes, which are not at all like viruses, other than being threatening, but hey, that's the memory we have about dealing with crisis, and we're sticking too it!)

We can't think clearly, literally. That's the purview of the PFC, which can access a lot more and varied memories and do more advanced processes. Including reason.

Stress uses up a lot of energy. You know how you feel at the end of a stressed day, or week. Exhausted! Or angry, then exhausted. 
  That energy goes to specific activities designed to help us address wounds, and give our largest muscles most of the blood to help us run or fight. 

So digestion shuts down, our gut hurts, our hands get cold. Being on hyper alert, our brainpower is also busy, but in that limited way. The wear and tear of prolonged stress leads to illnesses later in life, like cardiovascular disease. Diabetes. Gastrointestinal problems. Not to add to your fears, but... Just to make a point.

Recognize when you're stressed, and do something to shut it down before it causes trouble. Like tension headaches, stomach aches, tight muscles, and spousal arguments.

In stress, your immune system gets fired up, but too much, and it breaks down, leaving you more vulnerable to getting sick. If you have any pain, you will suffer worse by increased inflammation.

We spend so much time thinking about terrible things that MIGHT happen, even believing they will, and allowing ourselves to get worked up. 

But know what? That is not reality.
That is our negative imaginations, our thoughts. 
And usually, these are worse than the real thing we are worrying about!

And thanks to the news, we have lots of encouragement to go to that dark place.

Maybe it's time to turn away from the media. Schedule breaks at least.


What can you do?

BREATHE. 
No, really! You can immediately begin shutting down your own stress response with breathing. Stressed breathing is shallow, which means you don't exhale fully, and hold old air in your lungs. This signals the rest of your body that your oxygen is running out, stressing you more.

Like this:  
Blow out all the air in your lungs. 
Get it all out, then breathe in deeply, slowly. 
Fill your lungs, and hold it a second or two. 
Slowly exhale. Slower than the inhale. All the way out.
Let your body feel the air leaving, and notice your muscles will begin to soften. 

Do it once more. 
Release more muscles on this next exhale.

Then return to breathing normally, but pay attention to it, going a bit slower than before you started, and be sure to get rid of all the air while exhaling.


What you tell your brain to focus on, it will look for.
 If you tell it to focus on positive things by doing this regularly, it will be on the lookout for more such things. And will notice them where you hadn't before. Just as your focus on the virus leads you to find more scary stories on the internet and validates your fears.  

Say no thanks.
 
From a calming place after some deep breaths, think of something you love--a person, a beautiful place, your favorite knick-knack or piece of art. Your pet. something you love to eat. Or that great moment at the ball game. 

Push away any "Yea but" thoughts. ("Yea but we can't go top the games now! Yea but that pet died and I miss her...) Take control! Tell the naysayer thoughts that you aren't interested right now. Later. Return your attention to the good.


Keep that breathing slow, and hold the good memory or image in your mind. 

Close your eyes and savor the good emotion that image or memory evokes. Stay with that feeling as long as you can, at least 30 seconds.

“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.” 

--Denis Waitley, American writer

Gratitude is an especially good positive emotion. It can open up all sorts of other positive emotions, so it is a good entry point if you're not feeling it. Think about what you have, what is great in the world, instead of what you don't have or like, or what you fear.

Count your blessings. 
Chances are, you're a heck of a lot better off than many. You're alive if you're reading this,. You're literate and your eyes are good, or your technology to compensate is.

Think of someone you feel gratitude toward. Write them a letter listing all the things you appreciate about them. Read it a few times and feel that gratitude. Savor that feeling.

GO OUTSIDE 
Take a walk, somewhere in nature--a park, woods, the countryside. Leave your phone off so you can pay attention to what is around you. Stop whenever you see something you like, and enjoy looking at it--a cute animal, a bird singing, the tapestry of rolling hills or of branches and dirt and tree bark.

RUN, if you are a runner, but focus on running, and not corona virus or other concerns.
Meditate, do yoga, swim laps, or work out--anything to slow down your mind, empty it if you can, and give your poor body that thinks it needs to fight or flee a way to release its energy and return to homeostasis before getting depleted.

You have to get through this, and you will, one way or another. And you need to make a plan.

But not right this minute. 

First you need to shut down the stress response, so that you can make that plan of action using all the brain power at your disposal. Without wearing yourself out.
Extended stress makes you stupid, irritable, irrational, disorganized, confused. You want to be at the top of your game. You know, just in case....

Relax, then do what you can.

                   Do what you can, then relax. 



  Some indicators that you are stressed:

Cold hands
Bad mood; negative emotions
Impatient
Memory has gotten suddenly worse
Trouble making decisions
Impulsive
Dry mouth
Tense shoulders, neck
Clenched jaw, hands 

For more, see other posts and the info at my website, www.managemystress.net


Be kind to yourself, and others. And chill.  
It's good for your health. --elisabeth

Boosting Your Resilience Factor

Change is a tremendous source of stress and good or bad, change increase demands on your resilience. Whether it's relocating, buying a home, or selling one, a promotion, or losing a job, marrying, divorcing, a new baby, getting ill, or being the caregiver of someone with chronic illness—each stressor places demands on your brain and body’s complex, interwoven system. An overload reveals itself in physical and emotional aches, pains and illnesses, and can even trigger genetic expression of disease. Your ability to bounce back depends on how much resilience you have, and what tools are at your disposal to bolster it.

Advances in scientific understanding about the interactive body/brain /mind functioning continue to validate common, even ancient human wisdom for dealing with stress. Yet in our 21^st century society, we are biased toward new solutions, new medications, new interventions for whatever ails us. We want a pill, not a daily prayer and exercise routine! But new is not always best, nor necessary.

To build resilience, you need basically two things. 

First is a way to consistently, repeatedly, turn off your body’s stress response while turning on the opposite, known as the relaxation response. 

Then you need to also cultivate positive beliefs, emotions, and expectations. Together these will increase not just your well being, but also your resilience factor, and ensure you have the tools on hand, polished and ready to use, when needed.

You may already be aware of activities and beliefs that can strengthen stress management and resilience. Silly little expressions, like "Look on the bright side,” “Every cloud has a silver lining,” “Don't worry, be happy,” and even “Fake it till you make it” embody the cognitive tools required for resilience. Many spiritual teachings as well are affirmed by the findings of positive psychology research (a 21^st century field) and have actual neurophysiological manifestations. The more you learn about the science behind them, the more confidence you can have that they will work for you.

            

Exercise, of course, is widely recommended for managing stress and related conditions like anxiety and depression. But did you know that exercise is the fastest method for neurogenesis (brain neuron growth) of your human mission control center, the prefrontal cortex (PFC)? When you turn on the relaxation response, you are moving mission control from the threat/stress brain area (your amygdala) to the PFC, allowing you access to better planning, reasoning, emotional control and other higher executive functions, as well as to learning, memories, creativity, hope, love and all positive emotions. A thicker PFC and a less engaged amygdala correlate with greater resilience for bouncing back from life’s challenges, for creating value from whatever comes your way.

           

Other important stress-deactivating activities you can choose from include yoga, taichi, meditation, mindfulness practices, even prayer. Or weaving, or weight-lifting! In all cases, you just need to apply the basic components for evoking the body's relaxation response while engaged in the activity. It is a mind-body engagement, not a wandering mind opportunity. Maintain a single, nonthinking focus combined with a non-judging attitude, and  return to that focus when your mind wanders without beating yourself up about it. Focus, return to focus, return to focus.   

There are books, research, online tools, and classes to get your started. The Stress Management and Resilience Training (SMART) program at the Benson Henry Institute of Mind Body Medicine, an MGH affiliate, presents the research and opportunities to try out the most variety of methods. Class participation, versus trying to go it on your own, tends to elicit better results due to the mutual support and accountability of classmates and instructor. Whatever you choose, choose something. Reducing stress will provide you a greater sense of well being, improved relationships, and protect your short and long-term health.

Elisabeth Carter Ed.M., MFA, completed the training to provide SMART at the Benson Henry Institute in 2015. For information about her Metro-West (Boston) based program, visit www.managemystress.net or her blog at ECarterEdM.blogspot.com.

            

Positivity—It’s Not What You Think!

     When you hear "positivity," maybe you think of people who tout lines from songs, like “Don't worry, be happy” or “Always look on the bright side of things…” Or the somewhat pejorative expression in sentences like, “She’s such a Pollyanna!”

      Positivity doesn't refer simply to happiness or cheerfulness. It's much more complex—and interesting—than just say, having a positive attitude.

       Consider the opposite, negativity. Things that bring you down, that sap your energy, that make you angry or depressed, feel defeated or inferior, jealous, or critical of self or others—these are expressions, and sources, of negativity.

       Researcher Barbara L. Fredrickson offers 10 main sources of positivity (though there are more). Some of these may surprise you.
       As you read this list, think of occasions when you felt these emotions.

1. Gratitude. This emotion has been posited as the gateway to all the other positive emotions and is most worth cultivating for that reason. As Fredrickson explains in her book, Positivity*.  Gratitude opens your heart and carries the urge to give back—to do something good in return, either for the person who helped you or for someone else.” Paying it forward, in other words.
2. Joy: In this emotion, you are feeling safe and things are going much better than anticipated. “[T]he situations requires little effort on your part.”
3. Serenity: This is an emotion that arises on its own, not requiring you to make an effort to evoke. It "enters when your surroundings are safe and familiar... But unlike joy, serenity is much more low key.... a mindful state that carries the urge to savor your current circumstances and... integrate them into your life more often." 
4. Interest: OK, you say, really? Interest is positivity? Yes. When you are engaged, fascinated, urged to immerse yourself in something that has captured your attention, you are activating a positive-emotion part of the brain. You become more open, begin to learn, to make connections in new ways.
5. Hope: Another wonderful feeling, right? Fredrickson describes it as fundamentally “the belief that things can change. … Possibilities exist. … It motivates you to tap into your own capabilities and inventiveness to turn things around. It inspires you to plan for a better future.” Having positive plans and goals for the future is an important key to quieting negativity.
6. Pride: Wait, isn't this is a bad thing? “Pride goeth before a fall,” right?  This is not referring to the self-glorifying, chest-pounding, haughty sort of pride. Rather, it is the one that comes from a sense of accomplishment, of socially valued achievement. Having done the best you can in a socially contributive activity. It is tempered with appropriate humility. “[P]ride fuels the motivation to achieve.” Experiments show that “when people feel pride, they are more likely to persist on difficult tasks,” Fredrickson reports.
7. Amusement: This refers to a kinds of humor. It’s typically a surprise, makes you want to laugh, and is, by definition, “nonserious.” Caution: Sarcasm or making fun of someone else is not encompassed by the positivity sense of amusement. The underlying emotions of those activities are negative.
8. Inspiration: It may be spiritual, creative, intellectual. When you feel inspired, you are experiencing positivity.
9. Awe: How you feel when something takes your breath away—like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. The face of your child for the first time. The view at the top of the mountain before you ski down. An incredible piece of art. Also, amazement at what another person has done—without going to a place of jealousy or self-deprecation, of course.
10. Love: This one's obvious, right? The deep feeling of giving or receiving love is positive. It makes us feel safe, connected. Fredrickson goes even further, pointing out that it can encompass all of the other nine emotions listed above.

      Were you able to pause at any of the above to reflect on a time that you felt that emotion?

       If you paused long enough to savor that memory, chances are you evoked that same positivity again. In just such moments, you increase your positivity. You may even feel positive right now, having focused on (been interested by, engaged with) this subject.     

       We encounter negativity constantly—on the news, in the workplace, in our relationships, and in our own thoughts of self-doubt, worry, complaint, and so forth. Increasing our positivity is possible, though, and has numerous concrete benefits for our health, relationships and future circumstances.

       While the negative emotions have long been the sole focus of psychology, the newer field of positive psychology is interested in why we have positive emotions, why we developed them, and how to cultivate them.

        In her “broaden and build” theory, Fredrickson explains that positive emotions are future oriented, connecting, and protecting, while negative emotions are backwards looking, or at best, focused on the now (survival, getting through a difficult time). Positive ones “broaden our mind and expand our range of vision.”

       “At a fundamental level," she says, "…positivity alters your brain and changes the way you interact with the world.” Her research and various experiments validate her theory.

       The more positivity you have and the more you cultivate, the more positivity comes into your life. When you can achieve a ratio of about three positive emotional experience for every negative one, positivity begins to increase in an upward spiral, overtaking negativity, leading to an increasingly positive life.

       Want this?

       You can begin by employing behavior, thoughts, and attitudes such as practicing kindness, looking for value and constructive lessons even in the struggles and challenges that come your way, being sincere, and counting your blessings. Fight off the negative thoughts and worries by taking time to savor good memories and current positive circumstances often, instead of ruminating on the negative. Also, share your positive experiences (instead of, say, complaints)—relive them in the telling, re-experience the good emotions. This is a way to multiply their positive impact, and a fun way to increase your own positivity.

            As we learn from mind-body medicine and research, the body’s stress and relaxation responses—from your brain to your cells and even genes—positivity has real impact on the structure and functioning of your brain, on what your cells are doing, and hence on your health.

            For more detailed and encouraging discussion of her research and the cultivation of positivity, read Fredrickson's book, including its toolkit for raising your positivity and lowering negativity. And tune in here for other discussions. 

* Positivity: Top Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio that will Change Your Life

Visit ed.ted.com for several Fredrickson talks, starting with Barbara Fredrickson: Positive Emotions Open Our Mind.

Elisabeth Carter Ed.M., MFA, completed the training to provide SMART at the Benson Henry Institute in 2015. For information about her Metro-West (Boston) based program, visit www.managemystress.net.