It’s Good to Feel Good: Positivity changes your brain!

Why are we superstitious about happiness? You know, afraid something bad will happen in the near future if we feel too happy right now.

            

Like, there’s this cosmic balance that has to be maintained: if we are too happy, then something bad must occur.

            

When you spell it out like that, it sounds a little silly, right? But on some level, a lot of us think like this now and then. When something begins to go our way, we wait for that other shoe to drop. It is as if we cannot trust in happiness and must always be fearful of the future.

            

When you feel this happening, it's a sure indication that you are stressed out.

            

And when you have this kind of negative expectation, you prime your brain to look for trouble. That’s right—your brain will be on the lookout for what you imagine or anticipate. That’s just how it works.

            

If you are worried about something, your brain will look for signs to validate those worries, achieve those outcomes.

            

If, on the other hand, you anticipate success and good times, it will look for evidence and opportunities to validate or accomplish those.

           

Maybe being fearful a lot was valuable in helping human beings survive in earlier, untamed eras. And sadly, in some homes and neighborhoods today, or toxic workplaces, hyper-vigilance may still be easily cultivated.

            

So, is this healthy?

            

Actually, no.

            

Prolonged or perpetual stress, a state in which your body and mind are on the lookout for threats, takes its toll on your health. Vigilance requires a lot of energy--resources that your body and brain might use for other functions.

            

Chronic stress wears down your system and makes you vulnerable to stress-related diseases like high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and even osteoporosis.

            

Stress also activates inflammation, and that means more pain. Relaxation-response programs like SMART, developed at the Benson-Henry Institute, or mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), have been used successfully to reduce suffering from pain for just this reason. By lessening the negative emotions triggered by stress, inflammation itself can be reduced, and pain is not as bad.

           

Over time stress even changes your brain at the cellular level. In the amygdala, a very ancient, survival-focused segment of your brain that is commander in chief of your stress system, neurons and their dendrites (branches that help cells communicate with each other) develop more as stress stimulates this area, while cells in the prefrontal cortex (PFC), for instance, can shrink, losing dendritic branching and length, and not growing new neurons. Or, PFC neurons extend their branches more toward the amygdala, so that more types of stimuli can trigger it to turn on stress.

            

The PFC is where important human actions like self-control, emotional control, problem solving, and planning take place. It is linked with positive emotions, like love, unity, joy, satisfaction, fulfillment, hope, and so on. The more you develop this area, the more you develop these positive aspects of being human.

            

On the other hand, the threat-activated amygdala connects to negative emotions—fear, anger, jealousy, judgmental attitudes, sadness. The bigger it gets on the cellular level, the more things can push you toward negativity--and poor health.

            

So, despite proverbs or superstitions that tell you otherwise, it is healthy and even important for you to feel good--about yourself, about life, about others, about the future. The more time you spend experiencing positive emotions, the more you are fueling that area of the brain, instead of the negative-emotion, stress system. Positive emotions, positive perspectives—looking for the silver lining, or making lemonade from those lemons of life—serve to build up your PFC, temper your negative tendencies, increase your resilience.

What you think, you become;

What you feel, you attract;

What you imagine, you create.

                               Buddha, Dhammapada

Barbara Fredrickson, positive psychology researcher and author of Positivity, explains that while negative emotions serve important roles in allowing a species to survive the dangers of life, positive emotions serve a different survival purpose.

            

Positive emotions and activities, like gratitude, playfulness, affection, and love, serve to bring people together and, in creating and broadening their base of social bonds, to protect them in the future. Remember that girl in high school, the guy in college who was always smiling, always friendly, and also had lots of friends? Positivity is pro-social, and let’s face it, people need people.

            

Gratitude is one of the  most powerful positive emotions there is. It has even been called the doorway to all the other positive emotions. There was great wisdom behind the practice of expressing thanks before meals or in prayers before going to bed that modern science is now validating. How amazing is that!

            

When you are positive, you are also not in a stressed state, so you are not wearing down the inner resources needed for maintaining homeostasis—your body’s delicate balance. Instead, you are actually contributing to good health – both for yourself and others.

            

Being worried or negative becomes a habit that can be challenging to break, but never impossible.

            

You don’t have to remain that person who always fears negative repercussions if something nice happens to you, or if you are feeling good about an accomplishment. You can begin to reverse the tendency to see the glass as half empty by embracing your own positive emotions and thoughts.

            

Allow yourself to pause there, spend time with those positive thoughts and emotions, relish happy memories. imagine and look forward to positive future events.

            

Breathe, pause, think of something pleasant, hold it in mind for at least 30 seconds.

           

It is that simple.

             

As the holidays approach, don't just fill your calendar and show up where it tells you to go. If you have something fun or exciting coming up, spend a little time each day anticipating the goodness of it, looking forward to your plans with family or friends.

           

Guide your daydreams toward positive emotional scenes. Are you going to see someone you don’t often get to see? Instead of dwelling on past resentments that can spring quickly to mind, stop and take a deep breath. Then see if you can remember some good times with that person. Can you make that person look happy in your imagination?

            

Think up some fun things you could do when you get together in the coming weeks. Maybe plan to bring that backgammon set you guys used to play as kids, or a deck of cards, or a photo album. You might even find yourself sending them a looking-forward-to-seeing you card...

            

We seem to effortlessly make time for worrying… Instead, why not make the choice to imagine positive things? Sure, maybe none of them will happen, just like our worst-case scenario worries. But you will smile while you think about them, your mood will lift, and your PFC will be bathed in stimulation, nudging neurons to grown and stretch their dendrites to positive places, strengthening your resilience and positivity for the future.

            

You will feel good about yourself, and you just might spread some of that goodness outwards as well.

Elisabeth Carter Ed.M., MFA, completed the training to provide SMART at the Benson Henry Institute in 2015. For information about her Metro-West (Boston) based program, visit www.managemystress.net.

Boosting Your Resilience Factor

Change is a tremendous source of stress and good or bad, change increase demands on your resilience. Whether it's relocating, buying a home, or selling one, a promotion, or losing a job, marrying, divorcing, a new baby, getting ill, or being the caregiver of someone with chronic illness—each stressor places demands on your brain and body’s complex, interwoven system. An overload reveals itself in physical and emotional aches, pains and illnesses, and can even trigger genetic expression of disease. Your ability to bounce back depends on how much resilience you have, and what tools are at your disposal to bolster it.

Advances in scientific understanding about the interactive body/brain /mind functioning continue to validate common, even ancient human wisdom for dealing with stress. Yet in our 21^st century society, we are biased toward new solutions, new medications, new interventions for whatever ails us. We want a pill, not a daily prayer and exercise routine! But new is not always best, nor necessary.

To build resilience, you need basically two things. 

First is a way to consistently, repeatedly, turn off your body’s stress response while turning on the opposite, known as the relaxation response. 

Then you need to also cultivate positive beliefs, emotions, and expectations. Together these will increase not just your well being, but also your resilience factor, and ensure you have the tools on hand, polished and ready to use, when needed.

You may already be aware of activities and beliefs that can strengthen stress management and resilience. Silly little expressions, like "Look on the bright side,” “Every cloud has a silver lining,” “Don't worry, be happy,” and even “Fake it till you make it” embody the cognitive tools required for resilience. Many spiritual teachings as well are affirmed by the findings of positive psychology research (a 21^st century field) and have actual neurophysiological manifestations. The more you learn about the science behind them, the more confidence you can have that they will work for you.

            

Exercise, of course, is widely recommended for managing stress and related conditions like anxiety and depression. But did you know that exercise is the fastest method for neurogenesis (brain neuron growth) of your human mission control center, the prefrontal cortex (PFC)? When you turn on the relaxation response, you are moving mission control from the threat/stress brain area (your amygdala) to the PFC, allowing you access to better planning, reasoning, emotional control and other higher executive functions, as well as to learning, memories, creativity, hope, love and all positive emotions. A thicker PFC and a less engaged amygdala correlate with greater resilience for bouncing back from life’s challenges, for creating value from whatever comes your way.

           

Other important stress-deactivating activities you can choose from include yoga, taichi, meditation, mindfulness practices, even prayer. Or weaving, or weight-lifting! In all cases, you just need to apply the basic components for evoking the body's relaxation response while engaged in the activity. It is a mind-body engagement, not a wandering mind opportunity. Maintain a single, nonthinking focus combined with a non-judging attitude, and  return to that focus when your mind wanders without beating yourself up about it. Focus, return to focus, return to focus.   

There are books, research, online tools, and classes to get your started. The Stress Management and Resilience Training (SMART) program at the Benson Henry Institute of Mind Body Medicine, an MGH affiliate, presents the research and opportunities to try out the most variety of methods. Class participation, versus trying to go it on your own, tends to elicit better results due to the mutual support and accountability of classmates and instructor. Whatever you choose, choose something. Reducing stress will provide you a greater sense of well being, improved relationships, and protect your short and long-term health.

Elisabeth Carter Ed.M., MFA, completed the training to provide SMART at the Benson Henry Institute in 2015. For information about her Metro-West (Boston) based program, visit www.managemystress.net or her blog at ECarterEdM.blogspot.com.

            

The Stress Response vs The Relaxation Response

Your body automatically initiates a series of changes in your brain and body when it is triggered by as stressor--what your brain perceives as a threat. This can be a physical or external threat, or something that you just think about. Something that causes negativity, worry, or ruminating. In fact, this happens in a 15,000th of a second!

The changes include direction your brain control to the amygdala, the oldest part of the brain, historically speaking. It is the first brain segment to evolve, as it is survival oriented. The brain signals the body about the threat. Respiratory rate increases, blood leaves the digestive area in order to focus on more important survival areas, such as your limbs (for fighting or running away). Your senses heighten, or body becomes pro-inflammatory, your blood may thicken a bit (to promote coagulating more quickly in the event of a wound). You body processes glucose differently as well. It can even trigger inherited genetic illnesses to begin or worsen. All of these require energy and other important resources, which are redirected to support this response to threat.

As long as these things get shut down after a physical threat is gone, you're good. But most threats, most stressors these days, are not physical. They are all in your mind--worries, negative emotions, dwelling on negative events, frustrations, and so forth. So they can linger. Extended stress response depletes important resources for maintaining homeostasis. You must maintain homeostasis to survive. It has effects on brain structure, and can even result in reduced size of the prefrontal cortex, which houses all sorts of positive human functions, like emotional control, reasoning, access to positive emotions and memories, and so forth. At the same time, the amygdala increases its influence on your ability to access these important PFC functions, instead growing longer, branchier dendrites, which allow more and more input to turn on the stress response.

Just as your body has a stress response, it also has a relaxation response. Throughout the ages, civilizations have incorporated ways to trigger this natural process in your body and mind, such as meditations, prayer, yoga, even dancing. This turns off stress, refreshes your system. It is a state of positive emotions and thoughts, of being present. Of not feeling threatened. Turning this on regularly can counteract the effects of negative stress, leading to greater reliance in all aspects of your life, better health, reduced inflammation (and so, pain), etc.

The less time spent in the stress response, the better. By learning ways to bring on the relaxation response, and practicing them regularly, you improve your enjoyment of life as well as longterm health.

For more information, visit managemystress.net. Or better, sign up for my Stress Management & Resiliency training program.

Positivity—It’s Not What You Think!

     When you hear "positivity," maybe you think of people who tout lines from songs, like “Don't worry, be happy” or “Always look on the bright side of things…” Or the somewhat pejorative expression in sentences like, “She’s such a Pollyanna!”

      Positivity doesn't refer simply to happiness or cheerfulness. It's much more complex—and interesting—than just say, having a positive attitude.

       Consider the opposite, negativity. Things that bring you down, that sap your energy, that make you angry or depressed, feel defeated or inferior, jealous, or critical of self or others—these are expressions, and sources, of negativity.

       Researcher Barbara L. Fredrickson offers 10 main sources of positivity (though there are more). Some of these may surprise you.
       As you read this list, think of occasions when you felt these emotions.

1. Gratitude. This emotion has been posited as the gateway to all the other positive emotions and is most worth cultivating for that reason. As Fredrickson explains in her book, Positivity*.  Gratitude opens your heart and carries the urge to give back—to do something good in return, either for the person who helped you or for someone else.” Paying it forward, in other words.
2. Joy: In this emotion, you are feeling safe and things are going much better than anticipated. “[T]he situations requires little effort on your part.”
3. Serenity: This is an emotion that arises on its own, not requiring you to make an effort to evoke. It "enters when your surroundings are safe and familiar... But unlike joy, serenity is much more low key.... a mindful state that carries the urge to savor your current circumstances and... integrate them into your life more often." 
4. Interest: OK, you say, really? Interest is positivity? Yes. When you are engaged, fascinated, urged to immerse yourself in something that has captured your attention, you are activating a positive-emotion part of the brain. You become more open, begin to learn, to make connections in new ways.
5. Hope: Another wonderful feeling, right? Fredrickson describes it as fundamentally “the belief that things can change. … Possibilities exist. … It motivates you to tap into your own capabilities and inventiveness to turn things around. It inspires you to plan for a better future.” Having positive plans and goals for the future is an important key to quieting negativity.
6. Pride: Wait, isn't this is a bad thing? “Pride goeth before a fall,” right?  This is not referring to the self-glorifying, chest-pounding, haughty sort of pride. Rather, it is the one that comes from a sense of accomplishment, of socially valued achievement. Having done the best you can in a socially contributive activity. It is tempered with appropriate humility. “[P]ride fuels the motivation to achieve.” Experiments show that “when people feel pride, they are more likely to persist on difficult tasks,” Fredrickson reports.
7. Amusement: This refers to a kinds of humor. It’s typically a surprise, makes you want to laugh, and is, by definition, “nonserious.” Caution: Sarcasm or making fun of someone else is not encompassed by the positivity sense of amusement. The underlying emotions of those activities are negative.
8. Inspiration: It may be spiritual, creative, intellectual. When you feel inspired, you are experiencing positivity.
9. Awe: How you feel when something takes your breath away—like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. The face of your child for the first time. The view at the top of the mountain before you ski down. An incredible piece of art. Also, amazement at what another person has done—without going to a place of jealousy or self-deprecation, of course.
10. Love: This one's obvious, right? The deep feeling of giving or receiving love is positive. It makes us feel safe, connected. Fredrickson goes even further, pointing out that it can encompass all of the other nine emotions listed above.

      Were you able to pause at any of the above to reflect on a time that you felt that emotion?

       If you paused long enough to savor that memory, chances are you evoked that same positivity again. In just such moments, you increase your positivity. You may even feel positive right now, having focused on (been interested by, engaged with) this subject.     

       We encounter negativity constantly—on the news, in the workplace, in our relationships, and in our own thoughts of self-doubt, worry, complaint, and so forth. Increasing our positivity is possible, though, and has numerous concrete benefits for our health, relationships and future circumstances.

       While the negative emotions have long been the sole focus of psychology, the newer field of positive psychology is interested in why we have positive emotions, why we developed them, and how to cultivate them.

        In her “broaden and build” theory, Fredrickson explains that positive emotions are future oriented, connecting, and protecting, while negative emotions are backwards looking, or at best, focused on the now (survival, getting through a difficult time). Positive ones “broaden our mind and expand our range of vision.”

       “At a fundamental level," she says, "…positivity alters your brain and changes the way you interact with the world.” Her research and various experiments validate her theory.

       The more positivity you have and the more you cultivate, the more positivity comes into your life. When you can achieve a ratio of about three positive emotional experience for every negative one, positivity begins to increase in an upward spiral, overtaking negativity, leading to an increasingly positive life.

       Want this?

       You can begin by employing behavior, thoughts, and attitudes such as practicing kindness, looking for value and constructive lessons even in the struggles and challenges that come your way, being sincere, and counting your blessings. Fight off the negative thoughts and worries by taking time to savor good memories and current positive circumstances often, instead of ruminating on the negative. Also, share your positive experiences (instead of, say, complaints)—relive them in the telling, re-experience the good emotions. This is a way to multiply their positive impact, and a fun way to increase your own positivity.

            As we learn from mind-body medicine and research, the body’s stress and relaxation responses—from your brain to your cells and even genes—positivity has real impact on the structure and functioning of your brain, on what your cells are doing, and hence on your health.

            For more detailed and encouraging discussion of her research and the cultivation of positivity, read Fredrickson's book, including its toolkit for raising your positivity and lowering negativity. And tune in here for other discussions. 

* Positivity: Top Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio that will Change Your Life

Visit ed.ted.com for several Fredrickson talks, starting with Barbara Fredrickson: Positive Emotions Open Our Mind.

Elisabeth Carter Ed.M., MFA, completed the training to provide SMART at the Benson Henry Institute in 2015. For information about her Metro-West (Boston) based program, visit www.managemystress.net.

10 Strategies to Reduce Commuter Stress

Driving can be one of the most stressful parts of your day. So, reducing your driving stress lessens daily stress--and puts you in a better, less stressed mood when you arrive at work. Below are some de-stressing suggestions. Changing habits, of course, takes time. Pick a couple to work on, rather than attempting to tackle them all at once (if they all apply…). Making new habits takes repetition. You might want to print these out, cut them up, and tape 1-2 on your dashboard (or refrigerator) each week to remind you.

1 Don't play Irish trad tunes while driving, or anything that can get your heart pumping. Music affects your mood, & blood pressure! Put classical or jazz on the radio. Anything with a relaxing beat. Also avoid the negativity of endless news reporting or controversial, fast-taking or otherwise irritating radio shows that can get your ire up.

2. Breathe. Apply mindfulness, an effective stress management strategy, to your driving. Body tension both comes from the mind,and affects the mind. Notice if you are gripping the steering wheel tightly, holding your breath, or feeling tension/pain in your neck, shoulders, or back. If so, take a deep breath, hold a second, and exhale in a controlled slow motion, allowing your hands and arms and shoulders to release some tension. Take a few more long, full calming breaths like this, letting more of the tension in your body release. From time to time, check in with yourself, and repeat.

3. Turn off your phone. Give yourself a retreat from stress-generating multitasking, from distracting or stressful interactions with people not in the car. Savor the freedom of being out of contact with everyone else for a little while. According to AAA, distracted driving accounts for 13 deaths A DAY. Dying in an accident is definitely stressful… Apply mindfulness to your driving—when driving, just drive. Then praise yourself for your powers of self-disciple and responsible driving. Positivity, like praise, reduces stress and engages your prefrontal cortex, allowing you better emotional & impulse control, among other things.

4. Plan ahead—Part of your stress may be due to not getting in the car early enough. Keep your keys (purse, wallet, briefcase) in the same place so you don't waste time hunting for them. Gather whatever you will need to bring with you well in advance. Remember when your mom would lay out your clothes the night before school? Smart lady... You can still choose your outfit the night before. Think about what you can do to get yourself out the door earlier & in a more relaxed condition, so you don't have to worry if you get stuck in bad traffic. (But if you do worry, see 2 above.)

5. Slow down. Ask yourself, “Is it really important to get there as fast as possible? Will it really matter if I am a little late?”

            We can fall into the habit of rushing when we drive, even when there really isn't any reason for it. Driving isn't a race. Recognize when you are starting to feel irritated, anxious, competitive or aggressive while driving, and take a moment to reflect on how much difference a few minutes are really going to make. You can even do some mph/distance calculations.("I'm stuck behind someone going 10 mph slower than I want or normally go. My destination is 4 miles away, and I am about 1 mile away now. I usually go 40, which means 4 miles takes me 6 mins. (1/10 of 60 mins.). At 30 mph for 1 mile, it will take 2 mins. to get there instead of 1.25. Does this make a difference?") Then breath, relax, & slow down…

6. Curb your own aggressive driving--You know what I'm talking about: tailgating, speeding, weaving speedily between other cars, even those already going 10-20 mph over the speed limit, chasing the driver who cut you off a while back, passing on the left (especially on surface roads that are not 2 lanes wide!) 
     These put you in a heightened state of alertness, engaging your body's stress response. Not to mention the shortterm risk of tickets or accidents. They also prompt stress in the other drivers around you, making the road more dangerous and unpleasant for everyone. Slow down, back off from the guy in front of you, especially when you’re both going very fast, chill. See also 2 & 5 above.

7. Avoid negativity, go positive. Are you silently criticizing the stupid drivers around you (maybe even not silently)? Do phrases like, "Some of us have places go be, moron" bounce around in your head? Are you going over a recent argument you had with your spouse? Do you fantasize about how much trouble you will be in when you are late, then believe your fantasies? (In truth, the boss could be late too; you really can’t predict the future…!)

            Negative and judgmental thoughts trigger stress. Negativity also promotes negativity & stress around you. When you notice yourself doing this, turn your thoughts to things you appreciate, love, enjoy... The cute thing your child said at breakfast, the adoring look your dog gives you, the amazing sunset you saw last night... Count your blessings. Look forward to something pleasant, like an upcoming night out, vacation, or the accomplishment of a goal. This will direct your mind to the positive, and the brain cannot be both positive and negative at the same time. Use the drive to practice being more positive and the rest of your life will improve too!

8. Can't be positive? At least try this: Distract yourself from negative thoughts by counting to a hundred by sevens, forwards & backwards. Recite a memorized poem, or prayer, or the first 15 digits of pi. Try to recall something fun from every year of your life. Do anything to keep your thoughts from getting negative. And when you notice that they have drifted back to the dark side, just calmly (nonjudgmentally) say to yourself, “Oh, never mind!”, and return to your distraction plan.

9. Practice kind driving; compassionate imagining. Move your thoughts away from your wants and needs to contemplate those of other drivers. Let someone pass, allow a car waiting to merge from an onramp, be the guy who stops first when someone is standing at a crosswalk. Then bask in the goodness of your act. The generosity of your spirit will improve your mood and that of the other driver (or pedestrian), spreading a little goodwill & making the road safer.

             Other drivers annoying you? Make up compassionate scenarios instead of judging and cursing. The slow car up ahead is a fearful 87-year-old driving to visit her husband in the hospital... The guy talking on his phone, going 5-15 miles under the speed limit, is trying to calm his distraught daughter who just broke up with her boyfriend...

            Finally, work on recognizing that we all space out & get oblivious at times, and that none of the other drivers is doing what they are doing just to piss YOU off.

10. Use the bathroom before you leave.

Elisabeth Carter Ed.M., MFA, completed the training to provide SMART at the Benson Henry Institute in 2015. For information about her Metro-West (Boston) based program, visit www.managemystress.net.